MUSE LIFE: What About Your Friends?
From 2013 up to about last year, my life was in a big transition. My career as a makeup artist was moving up & down which takes a huge toll on you mentally, physically & emotionally. You start to question your choices, your commitments to a craft & you begin to see relationships change in the process.
Being surrounded by people with similar goals & mind sets has really opened my perspective on friendship since I arrived in Savannah.
When I started transitioning into this next phase of my life, I started to lose a lot of things, but I never expected it to be certain people. I have to admit, I'm anything but perfect (can you believe that?) yet I try to communicate when I can. There seemed to be a common thread missing in all of these relationships: who is listening to what I'm saying?
The relationships we have with ourselves reflects onto the people around us.
Was I even listening to myself?
I was becoming jaded that some of my most cherished relationships were falling apart. When you feel like you're constantly defending your actions, gossiping or in a confrontation, it's time to start looking at yourself & what you can do to change the situation. It may hurt but it may be the most healthy end to a toxic relationship. It doesn't make any of us bad people, but it could mean that we were becoming bad for each other.
I took one year to get right with myself in 2016. At this point, everything around me was weighing on me instead of lifting me up. I made an investment into a studio with my friend, Kelly, & I got clear about what I wanted. It was a STRUGGLE & I fell deep into a pit, but I climbed my way out of it.
What a lot of people are afraid to do is fall & that's never been something I shy away from. Intrinsically, as an artist, I've made the BEST growth by really allowing myself to feel/be EXACTLY how I need to feel/be. Honoring the process instead of HIDING from it or pretending things are working perfectly. I tried that route & have no desire to take it again.
At a Sunday service with my friend, Danaya, the pastor discussed how the only way out of a pit is to fight your way out of it by yourself. Even with a dim light to look towards. So I did & it brought me to the realization of the crumbling walls I built for myself instead of relying on God to pull me through.
It became more important for me to rely on His wants rather than trying to please the people around me.
I made some great friends in the process. I even made it to Savannah with the most support from my family & friends I've ever experienced. I learned to be loyal to the one relationship that ALWAYS matters. The one between God & ourselves so that He can give us the love we truly need.
That meant staying true to the need for discretion for such a DRASTIC change. I may love to share, but I do respect the need for privacy. With every high, there are lows & discretion keeps the balance. There was a moment in time where things weren't looking too good for this move. Within a week I was packing my bags, selling my belongings & on an afternoon flight to Georgia.
Did I find I hurt some people along the way? Yes, but it became very clear that the decision I made was the right one. For the simple fact that I need honest communication in all of my relationships. Both of which I give & seldomly receive in return from the one that was hurt in the process. We are more frequently missing the ball than catching it from one another.
Yet, I hear from the people I love frequently, we're making daily progress in our life changes & we have a supportive circle no matter the distance. We don't miss a beat with each other & when we do we call each other out so we can make things right.
I'll be taking this time in Savannah to focus on my art & maintain a personal life that is aligned with purpose. I'm finally happy & the people I meet are taking risks, creating with a vision & blowing my mind every day.
Cheers to new chapters & renewed outlooks!
Love & Light,